Time is squeezing me in. I feel it now so intensely, I can almost feel how days are running by with twice a big of a speed, and my ability to keep up with that is twice worse. But that is life I guess - A race where you have to compete with the time and distances and your own willpower.
On Saturdays we have the Council here at the camp. It is a tradition which was brought in by Native American counselors years ago. A place and time where to practice listening with your heart without judgment. An hour before the Council there is a solo time where there is a complete silence in the camp and everyone is on her own. Then a silent walk to the Council ring follows, and it is magical and spooky and unforgettable at the same time.
In the Council there are usually three or four speakers who have prepared something to say. Call it a speech if you want, it doesn’t matter. It is their time and space to share their wisdom, something that they think would be worth telling to others. Others are not allowed to talk or comment or ask questions, and for people like me it is a big challenge. Not only to listen, but to switch off all the judgments and filters I have in my mind and heart and let the truth reveal itself. I believe there is a great deal of truth all around us, and, since every person is made in image of God, in every one of us. I just have to give myself a chance to see and hear that, and sometimes it means counting to eleven hundred before saying or even thinking either the things been said are right or wrong.
And it is hard. Man, it’s hard.
I had to speak on the Council 2 weeks ago. I spoke about servant leadership and people in my life that have showed what is this thing all about. My voice was trembling and I had to fight with the smoke coming from the fire. Sometimes it is not only hard to listen but also to be listened to. Especially when there is a complete silence around you. Every word has a different weight then.
Jonas yesterday talked about golf and deer, and how we will get what we are thinking about and how we will move towards what we are focused on. How the only limits and boundaries we have are in our minds, and how everything is possible.
Sara was talking about the community and how the last two weeks of the camp can make the greatest influence. How one of the characteristics of a strong community is ability to show hospitality. She talked about the power of creating together, and each of our roles in that process.
I could go on forever. Each of the Council speeches has left something inside of me. I love these Saturday nights. They challenge me and feed my soul at the same time.
I have two and a half weeks left here, and things I want to do are more than many. At least in my case, the spirit of CRSE has done its job well – it has been contagious indeed, and it really feels now that I can do anything I want. Will see how dangerous it is to feel that way. Ask me in a year.