May 19, 2008

bezvārdība/ speechless.

Tik dīvaini un sirreāli. Jo liekas jau, ka mana paaudze... nu, ka viņi vēl nemirst. Ka mēs esam supermeitenes un superzēni. Ka nāve ir kaut kas tāds, kas uz mums neattiecas vai attiecas tikai pastarpināti un attālināti, abstraktos ciparos un no TV ekrāniem.
Laikam pirmo reizi dzīvē viņa man ir piezagusies tik pēkšņi un nejauši. No zila gaisa, un es pat no pārsteiguma neesmu spējīga raudāt.
Viņa nogāzās no 300 metru augstuma. Nukā, Grenlandē. Viņu atrada sestdien. Viņai bija 28 gadi, milzu apņēmība un rudi, lokaini mati līdz viduklim. Mēs šogad dzīvojām kopā 2 mēnešus, un man nekad nelikās, ka pārmaiņas viņas dzīvē, par kurām todien runājām virtuvē, sēžot uz grīdas, atnāks... šādā formātā.
Birte. So long, my friend. See you up there.

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So weird and so surreal. Because it seems that my generation... well, we are not supposed to die yet. After all, we are supergirls and superboys. Death is something that has nothing to do with us or, if it has, only in distant and indirect ways, like abstract statistics or a story on the TV about what's going on in Kenya.
But for the first time in my life the death has caught me so suddenly and randomly, so out of nowhere that I am not even able to cry.
She fell from 300m high mountain. In Nuuk, Greenland. they found her on Saturday. She was 28 years old, she had long, red, curly hair and an enormous willpower. Last winter we lived together for 2 months in Aassiat, Greenland, and I never thought that the changes in her life that we were talking about, sitting on the floor of her kitchen that one lunch break, would come like.... this.
Birthe.
So long, my friend. I am sorry I didn't reply your last facebook message.
See you up there.